As you may or may not know, I wasn’t afforded—or prepared for—the opportunity to attend college when I was younger. So, during the Covid pandemic, I seized the moment and took on that challenge. I was determined to complete my classes as quickly and efficiently as possible. When I came across a class titled Effective Listening, I assumed it would be a breeze. After all, I considered myself a pretty good listener. Little did I know how wrong I was! What I thought would be easy turned out to be one of the most challenging—and rewarding—courses I had ever taken.
This class taught me much more than how to simply hear what people were saying. It challenged me to become fully present in conversations, to listen beyond the words, and to pay attention to the emotions and intentions that lay beneath. It emphasized the importance of listening for understanding—both verbal and non-verbal cues—and approaching each conversation with empathy and compassion. Intentionality became the cornerstone of my new listening approach.
One of the key takeaways was learning how to demonstrate active listening. This meant using body language, eye contact, and brief responses to show that I was engaged in the conversation. It also meant resisting the urge to respond too quickly or formulate rebuttals in my mind. So often, we fall into the trap of listening with the intent to respond, not to understand. Or worse, we pretend to listen while mentally checking out—something that’s painfully obvious to the person speaking.
James, the brother of Jesus, addresses this issue head-on in his epistle:
“Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words], and slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].” (James 1:19 AMP)
Can you imagine how our relationships—with family, friends, and even strangers—could be transformed if we all took this wisdom to heart? Think about the impact we could have if we practiced the art of truly listening with compassion and empathy. How many conflicts could be avoided? How many broken relationships could be healed? How might non-believers feel if they knew we cared enough to listen—not with judgment, but with genuine interest?
Today, I challenge you to listen with intention. Choose to be present in your conversations. Practice active listening by being attentive, asking thoughtful questions, and seeking to understand rather than to be understood. Make room for the Holy Spirit to guide your words and responses. Who knows how God might use your attentive ear to change a heart, restore a relationship, or draw someone closer to Him?