I have been reading a book with a friend called Balcony People, by Joyce Landorf Heatherley. In the book she talks about two types of people: evaluators and the affirmers. The evaluators are “people who either broke our spirits by their critical or judgmental evaluations. The affirmers are those who “healed us by their loving perceptive affirmations.”
When I read these descriptions of evaluators and affirmers, my mind went right to the people who have been evaluators. Those people and the things that they said that crushed my spirit by their critical perceptive things they said to me or how they treated me. Those memories came quickly, with no effort on remembering them. The affirmers took a little more thought. But you know what? The affirmers were there too. The people who came alongside me to breathe life and love into me. Those who helped me recognize my worth and that I could heal. They walked with me on my healing journey.
I believe God brings affirmers in our lives to walk with us, to encourage us in our faith, and to come alongside our healing and life’s journeys. I praise God for all the affirmers in my life past, present, and future.
Then I thought about if I was and am an evaluator or an affirmer to those in my circle of influence. Immediately I thought of times when I was an evaluator to my husband, my daughter, family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and strangers. Many times I was judgmental, critical, and harsh. The fact that I crushed anyone’s spirit breaks my heart. I asked for forgiveness and will continue to do so as the time comes.
As I reflected on my own role as an evaluator, I realized something: I’m often my own worst evaluator. I can be quick to judge and critique myself, replaying mistakes or failures in my mind. But just as God calls us to affirm others, He also calls us to see ourselves as He does—beloved, chosen, and valued.
In my heart of hearts, I want to be an affirmer. I want to lift up people. I want to show them their value, not only to me, but to God. I want to help them on their healing journey. I want to affirm them in their faith, their God given gifts.
That is the very reason I write this blog and starting a podcast. I want to encourage you to build up your faith and walk closer with God. My heart is to offer you practical, Christ-centered guidance that can help deepen your relationship with the Lord in a real way. Through regular encouragement, actionable insights, and inspiring each other toward love and good works, I hope to help you live out your faith with true purpose – like it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
I want to be an affirmer in your life. As Joyce states in her book, I don’t want to miss out on “one of the main concepts of the holy scriptures – to love one another and to bear one another’s burden.” I have found that being an affirmer, an encourager in other peoples lives, blesses me too. I find great joy in watching others grow, heal, and have breakthroughs and being their “balcony person” along the way. Try it out! You may find that being an affirmer not only uplifts others but brings joy and blessings to you, too.
Take a moment today to reflect: are you more of an evaluator or an affirmer to the people around you? Ask God to help you be a source of love, encouragement, and healing. Reach out with a word or gesture of affirmation, and let God work through you to bring life into someone else’s day.